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09:09pm 22/05/2003
  I deleted a bunch of people from my friends list again, and I'm going to delete a bunch more later. If you want me to re-add you, give me some valid reason for doing so. If I'm just a courtesy add, then drop me. If in some unlikely case you actually give a damn, then say so.  
     

(3 chip(s) in the pile | Ante Up!)

 
Matthew, please note rather large quiz result posted solely for your benefit.   
09:43pm 08/05/2003
 
mood: bored
fox.
You are the fox.


Saint Exupery's 'The Little Prince' Quiz.
brought to you by Quizilla

I'd rather he not be gone.

But it sounds accurate enough. I'm getting bored, and I wish Josh would update.

Today has been and continues to be incredibly boring... I need entertainment.
 
     

(Ante Up!)

 
   
06:49pm 23/04/2003
 
mood: bored
ColorgenicsCollapse )

Anyway.... Wednesdays are long and boring. I want to fall asleep on Josh's lap.
 
     

(Ante Up!)

 
Who is this?   
10:10pm 15/04/2003
 

Who's Your Anime Boyfriend?
 
     

(1 chip(s) in the pile | Ante Up!)

 
Why is FE4 music so short... :(   
11:54am 15/03/2003
 
mood: cheerful
What a pretty day it is today! I picked up some pictures I dropped off on my birthday, and I had no idea what they were of at the time- end's up it's just a mix of stuff- but I got a good picture of Anthony and Joe out of it- and some cute pictures of Tucker when was small and not an obnoxious goblin.

I want to do a photo shoot this weekend! Joe wants to, also, and I'm dragging Josh along whether he wants me to or not. I need new pictures- although every picture I take recently is LESS than satisfactory, and I always feel so awkward and unattractive- but part of it is that even though I can take good pictures of other people, the reverse isn't always true. Look at me, blaming my ugliness of others bad photograpghy skills.. oh well.

Again, it is too DAMN NICE out! It's so warm and sunny, and here I am inside. I was out earlier to go to my meeting, but now I'm home again- because I don't have any money to go out and do something- dammit.

I need money badly. I wonder if I could just sell some useless organs? The Taiwanese Mafia has always been good to me before. I want to win the lottery. Original desire, I know, but I feel that I deserve it more than you.

Anyway... maybe I'll just write a few more DOOM articles to pass the time.

[Edit: It feels like late afternoon, but it's only 5 till 12. Damn, I guess that's what I get for waking up at 7:30... WAKE UP, PEOPLE. I need entertained.]

[Edit 2: Say what you will about Brad Fitzpatrick, but you gotta respect the guy for his patience with all these jungle dwellers.]
 
     

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08:14pm 07/03/2003
 
mood: reversed
Ok, I just made a huge rant, and even though I swore I wouldn't feel guilty, now I do, so I made it private. For those of you who saw it... yeah, well.

As for those of you who didn't, don't MAKE me tell you about it.

I got my anger out, and I explained it in full to my mother, and I have every right to be angry- because my mommy says so, so THERE!

Anyway, I'm not mad now, as pitching a fit is very therapeutic for me.

And I just checked my mail, and guess what I found-

A package from John! I got a level up (and a handy Reflect spell!), pictures of the Diva, AND MANY WORLDS ARE BORN TONIGHT! (that's a CD title, not an exclamation) I am very VERY happy!

Me: DOOM is almost 6 mos. old
Me: I am so excited!
Me: Our baby is growing up!
John: LOL!!!
John: But, what about our OTHER child?
Me: you mean Rita?
John: you know, the one we named '0' and keep in the basement?
Me: LMAO!
John: Oh shit, I forgot about her!
 
     

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08:23pm 06/03/2003
 
mood: bored
I WANT SOME NUTELLA, AND NOW!

P.S. I need to start watching I, My, Me Strawberry Eggs. I just read in Animefringe that it's "way too weird and unique for its own good" and "one of the strangest and most original shows that no one is watching".

Straight, male crossdressers... and this hasn't caught on with fans WHY?
 
     

(Ante Up!)

 
Odd dream   
10:19am 06/03/2003
  I had this bizarre dream last night.

It starts with Matt and I coming home from some long trip and just getting in from the airport. After getting settled, I call Josh, and we exchange the standard "I missed you, glad you are back" fare. After I get done, suddenly, Matt and I realize we have to go back to the airport and go back to where we came from for another week or so.

We take Adam with us and go to the airport, and we have a few hours before our flight, so we spend some time walking around the massive shopping center that has sort of MERGED with the airport.

While we are eating Chinese in the food court, it dawns on me that Josh was expecting me to be back and I was supposed to see him sometime this week, but now I'll be gone and he won't even know where I am. I feel really guilty, and start to explain why I suddenly don't won't to go on the trip. Time passes, and we all don't want to be on the trip, but unfortunately, none of us has a way of contacting our ride, and we don't have money enough for a hotel.. so we were stuck there until a week later, when everyone was expecting us back. (Dream logic is weird)

So times passes, we all split up and spend time wandering around, being homeless in the disgustingly huge shopping center.

Suddenly we have an idea- we'll get on a plane and HIJACK it in order to get home... so we gather our things and get ready to go.
I decide I want a manga to read on the flight, so I stop in some bookstore and get ever-so-obviously hit on by the guy at the counter (once again, this part is what makes it so dreamlike- I'd never get hit on in real life), and I peruse the manga, but they only have Chobits and awful Dragonball manga, so I quickly grab some random thing and go.

Wel, oddly enough, the plane we are about to "commandeer" just happens to have Josh on it, looking for me. While we are getting on the plane, everyone gets separated, and this weird guy shows up.

He summons some big black beast thing that covers everything in snow, and starts attacking people. Matthew and I, as luck would have it, are like RIGHT NEXT TO the thing when it appears, so it goes after us. Meanwhile, for no real reason, Adam looks like Colin Farrel/Rondo Angelo, and he is in some prison cell about to get gang raped. He breaks free and runs out to get the black beast.

Meanwhile, Matt and I have transformed into children and are hiding in the snow from the beast. Adam shows up, turns into a kid, and we all fight the demon. Oh, did I mention Matt had turned into a girl by this point?

Anyway, right when things look bad, theb east dies, the snow vanishes, and we get on the plane. Josh helps us take over it, and better yet, he lands it in our front yard. And that was the end.

Meanwhile, in the wake world, we're under a Level 2 snow ADVISORY (which breaks down to something like a Level 1 snow warning). And I don't want to miss work, so my stupid ass is going to attempt it anyway... I never thought I'd be looking forward to allergy season...
 
     

(3 chip(s) in the pile | Ante Up!)

 
"I don't care WHAT it is, that soylent green is DAMNED tasty!"   
10:31pm 05/03/2003
 
mood: nervous
SurveyCollapse )

Anata wa hoshii...

I'm not so stiff today, and I guess I'm ok... Anyway, I don't know what else to say, honestly.
 
     

(Ante Up!)

 
And finally, that day came...   
04:16pm 31/12/2002
 
mood: anxious
Conversation with Joe about Damon standing him upCollapse )

I've never known Joe to be angsty before...

Well... it's almost time. I'm waiting with baited breath for this evening. Joe is coming over, too. It's probably best for him and safest. And plus, that gives Matthew some company, too.

I wish my shirt would hurry up and dry. And I wish tonight would last forever. I should have wished for that at 3:33. but I forgot. Oh well. There's always 3:33 am... hehehe

Time to get sexy, boys and girls.
 
     

(1 chip(s) in the pile | Ante Up!)

 
2 days...   
07:48pm 29/12/2002
 
mood: intimidated
2 days in my countdown... last night was a bit strange... good, but still very strange... Somehow I feel as if I almost regret it, regret my inability to not hold back a little longer. But I suppose it's all ok. Yeah, it's all ok.

I'm hoping I calm down pretty soon. I'm very over-emotional lately, in a good way. But I don't have much defense left, something I've never really lived with before. She never had this effect on me. I think atone point I would have believed she did, but it pales in comparison to what he's given me.

And with this in mind, I'm trying to keep chipper. But still... I'm relatively new.. and as I sit here, viewing all these months and years of feelings and thoughts, I feel very insecure. I'm afraid, I guess. I don't want to wind up in past tense someday. And I can't help but wonder if I'm just as loved as he was... It was a bad idea for me to look back, I guess.

I'm so insecure... I hate it. I hate how much reassurance I need- he gives me so much already...

*sigh*
 
     

(2 chip(s) in the pile | Ante Up!)

 
3 days...   
03:55pm 28/12/2002
 
mood: exhausted
I want to kiss you where the wings should be
I want to run my hands across the strength that you never notice
Trace a trail across your neck
Surround you, coil around you
You own me and possess me


I'm very exhausted today... I'm glad I have the day off tomorrow, and I'm glad today was a rather short day. I have to do a lot tomorrow afternoon, though, but it's all worth doing.

I feel like a violin string again... tightened and tense and resonating at the slightest touch. It's almost maddening how much I feel lately... all those years of hoping and months of holding back are all just pouring out of me. "He is intelligent, he is sweet, he is honorable, he is gorgeous, and he is mine." It's been haunting me all day. Is this even real?

I don't really care if it is or isn't. I just want more of it.

I want to watch Utena. Adam ALREADY commandeered Xenogears, which is somehow not surprising. I bought the Two Towers soundtrack today, but when I opened it, it had some sort of glue from the package stuck ALL OVER the edge of the disc... and that pisses me off, since I can't get it off, and I really want to hear Gollum's Song. Fuck.

Oh well. I can't be bothered with negative emotion today. I'm living for that slightly labored breathing of his today.

Matt must be out with Joe, because he isn't here. I wonder when he'll be home. I'm actually hoping Joe doesn't spend too much time here tonight. We tend to grate on each other if we spend too much time together. Plus, he insulted my fashion sense yesterday and basically thinks I'm some sort of flamer because I'm in a non-sleazy relationship. (read: this is entirely MY interpretation of his behavior, and not based in fact) But again, I don't care.

I have gone from grey to blue.
 
     

(1 chip(s) in the pile | Ante Up!)

 
4 days...   
11:31pm 27/12/2002
 
mood: anxious
Well, after work today, I went out and did some shopping with Joe and Matt.

I bought a grey turtleneck sweater, and a blue one, also... a scarf, some pants (of a material I hesitate to mention), a shirt, a ring, the Utena: Black Rose DVD, the Interview with a Vampire soundtrack, the WA3 strategy guide (don't ask), some t-shirts, bikini underwear (heh), a black bathrobe, and Xenogears. Matt got the second volume of the Miyu TV series (which I have NEVER been able to find) and a string quartet tribute to Radiohead.

I don't have much else to say, other than my mind continues to wander today- not so much in a "certain problematic" direction, either. Just overall. I found myself smiling a lot today. I am counting down the days til New Years... I wish John were online. I miss talking to him so much. And I have SO much to talk to him about! Damn our schedules! Oh John, I miss your darkness and malevolence!

Anyway, I might play a little Xenogears or watch some Utena before I call Josh and go to bed. I have to work early tomorrow, but only until 4, and then I have my day off!
 
     

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10:11pm 26/12/2002
 
mood: ditzy
I think I'm going to see if there are any people who'd like to take Tucker off my hands. I think the little [expletive] would make some prime soup stock or something. Anyway...

I have new shoes, finally! Oddly enough, I'm not much of a shoe shopper. I had to work for most of the day though, so I missed a majority of the after-holiday madness- I still got more than I could stand, though. I swear, the people in this town are so stupid, you couldn't even do experiments on them (they'd never make it through the maze).

I feel very tight and tense today... coiled and energized... my mind is cloudy and prone to wandering, and I fear the slightest sensation would leave me gasping for breath and panting. It's like I'm being overwhelmed but I can't seem to have enough of it. I don't know.

Anyway, I'm going to be lazy tonight... I'll miss my long-distance pillow talk, but on the other hand (damn that other hand) I really need the sleep. It's been a few days. And the batteries on BOTH of my lines were rather dead this afternoon, so I suppose I should be more considerate.

But anyway.. I'm happy. Dazed, but happy.

P.S. I HATE DOGS!

P.S.S. Where the hell is John?
 
     

(1 chip(s) in the pile | Ante Up!)

 
   
12:15am 26/12/2002
 
mood: peaceful
The Dark Circle ChristmasCollapse )

Christmas is always so peaceful. I wish I didn't have to go back to work tomorrow- however, I eagerly anticipate New Year's. My heart has been balanced on the thinnest possible thread of emotion the past week- I shudder to think of what the future holds, and even my worries cannot compare to the breathless anticipation and joy I have. There is a bubble in my chest, a soothing sensation that is strangely activating. I wish to be possessed, to be overwhelmed by the presence of a certain other. I desire to have my defense removed and I want to be held in my full vulnerability. Yeah... so one can assume I'm in a very good state lately.

I got Matt the special edition of Fushigi Yugi Eikoden, and I got Adam Advance Wars for his GBA. I got some various accessories and an CD/MP3 player, and my parents (as per usual) gave me money. I can't complain. Matthew got a manicure set in his stocking (so did I, but that's irrelevant)- and I think it was probably the one gift he got the most excited about. Not only has been playing around with it all day, but he's pretty dangerous with it. He managed to get almost ALL of Adam's and his gifts open with it. I found it amusing.

Well, tomorrow back to work. I will greatly miss my nightly comfort when I go to bed, but it's good I don't make a habit of it. And as a final message to a certain someone... I'm not afraid of the feelings wearing off... not at all. I know I will feel the same always- I just meant that things like these are composed of stages. And I want this one to last for a long time, and I want us to be able to revisit it whenever we want. That's all. Please don't worry about it tonight. Ok?
 
     

(2 chip(s) in the pile | Ante Up!)

 
   
12:19am 24/12/2002
 
mood: satisfied
Just got home.

Today has been a good day... for these reasons-

- *CENSORED*
- *CENSORED*
- *CENSORED* again just for good measure
- Lawyers coming through
- Two days off in a row
- Cigarette boxes and camera
- You (know who you are)
- Presents being liked
- Golden Ring
- Coffee afterward
- Bitching about life and agreeing about futures
- Evil puppets
- Hands running across my back
- Lips caressing my neck
- Cookies!
- Joe spending tonight!
- Everything feels like it will be alright

I feel like sighing. I miss magic hands. Good day.
 
     

(Ante Up!)

 
   
01:34am 23/12/2002
 
mood: happy
I just got in from my Christmas party at work. It was ok, I guess. Too many family members and spouses and cohabitors tagging along this year, I guess. I was, without a doubt, the most attractive guy there, though. Hehe.

My presents were a scarf (from Justine, CJ's girlfriend) and a bottle of aspirin and green apple schnapps. Um? Who do they think I am, some depressed German housewife? Well, no German housewife has hair like I do, so I suppose it doesn't matter.

I'm really not THAT arrogant.. It's just after I blush, I tend to overact to lighten myself up. Comments on pictures make me blush. Heh.

I have New Year's Eve off, and New Years Day... so that means long nights won't be a problem, hehehe...

I feel so happy... I was worried, and still am... but that's ok.
 
     

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03:46pm 22/12/2002
  HAPPY FRIGGIN' BIRTHMAS, bleach_drinkerJohn  
     

(1 chip(s) in the pile | Ante Up!)

 
   
12:35am 22/12/2002
 
mood: blank
Well, Joe called and wanted Matt and I to go out to dinner with him to meet Claire (aka Light Circle Lesbian) and watch the Two Towers. I wasn't going to go, but for some reason, I changed my mind, and when Adam heard there would be lesbians along, he decided to come along, too.

I won't say anything about the Two Towers, aside from noting it's worth seeing.

Claire is... interesting. A bit of a fangirl, but she's younger so it's to be expected. She's also a lot more intelligent than most people of her ilk. All in all, an interesting evening. I still sound like Nancy McKeon...

I missed Josh today, but I got a lot of work done, so I think I broke even. That's all.

P.S. Writing filter - THANK YOU FOR ABSOLUTELY NO FEEDBACK *fuckyougotohell*
 
     

(Ante Up!)

 
   
05:39pm 21/12/2002
 
mood: uncomfortable
Today I have been cleaning hardcore and I sound like Nancy McKeon.

More later.
 
     

(1 chip(s) in the pile | Ante Up!)

 
Anyone have an Echo Screen I can borrow?   
09:02pm 20/12/2002
 
mood: I wish I could speak...
WELL, you'll never GUESS what I got in the mail, today- Valkyrie Profile- only one of the BEST and RAREST games to ever grace the PSX! Thank to John for the wonderful present!

Well, I went to work today, but I didn't stay all day. I have no voice, so it was kinda pointless being there. I stayed for a few hours and wrapped Christmas presents for my boss, and then I mailed Anthony's present to him before I came home.

I hope Josh is ok. I'm finding him constantly on my mind the past few days, and even though I know I'm not to blame for his moods, I'm still fighting the urge to feel responsible and/or stop feeling happy because of them. Well, hopefully my Christmas present cheers him up.

I'm glad I'm at least able to drink today. However, I'm eternally annoyed with Tucker, that daft little mongrel. He keeps biting, and today, Adam bit him back. It was hilarious, and oddly enough, he didn't bite anyone else for an hour or so. Oh God, why couldn't my mother have gotten a nice houseplant for Christmas, instead of some stinking baby beast? (I recall saying the same thing shortly after my parent's brought Adam home). And for the record, Dante's Peak is the stupidest movie that was ever created.

Well, John's not online, and neither is Josh, so I don't really have a reason to be on online, either.

Before I go though, has anyone recieved the cards I've sent out? Anyone?

P.S. Mine.
 
     

(1 chip(s) in the pile | Ante Up!)

 
   
10:39pm 19/12/2002
 
mood: sick
Partita Nicklaus: so, how are your anal warts?
Wild EyeZ 00: you taco temptress...
Partita Nicklaus: you prioress WHORE
Wild EyeZ 00: um duh
Partita Nicklaus: I slept almost all day
Partita Nicklaus: it was so birng
Partita Nicklaus: ^boring
Partita Nicklaus: and I had this weird dream I was you
Wild EyeZ 00: sounds like it
Partita Nicklaus: I had a dream I was you
Partita Nicklaus: and I was at school
Partita Nicklaus: and I/you were looking for heather
Wild EyeZ 00: what the fuck
Partita Nicklaus: and I guess I found her, and then me/you went out and threw shit at people in the halls
Partita Nicklaus: and then I woke up
Partita Nicklaus: and puked
Wild EyeZ 00: sick
Wild EyeZ 00: u trick

So yeah. I'm sick. I have what Joe had, and I'm just now able to get out of bed... and in a few minutes, my diseased self is going to stumble BACK to bed. I even called off of work, something I haven't done in over two years. Go plague.

Sorry if I worried anyone the other night. Things are ok, I just had an insecure moment, I guess. They happen once in a while. Glad you liked your package John. It's not as nice as MY package, but that one would be awfully hard to mail (wink-wink-nudge-nudge). Ok, I really hope I can get to work tomorrow, though. Well, I'm getting dizzy, so I better go lie down. Joe's bugging me to go see Two Towers. We'll see, we'll see.
 
     

(3 chip(s) in the pile | Ante Up!)

 
   
11:35pm 17/12/2002
 
mood: sad
I'm sorry that everything about me is wrong. I'ms orry I'm not what I am supposed to be. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I protect myself. I'm sorry I can't fix anything. I'm sorry I'm useless. I'm sorry I don't know anything. I'm sorry I need direction. I'm sorry I'm even saying this. I'm sorry I have feelings. I'm sorry... I'm sorry... I'm so confused....
 
     

(5 chip(s) in the pile | Ante Up!)

 
Random humorous snippets from the evening   
08:35pm 17/12/2002
 
mood: bouncy
1- The number one rule in our house is never to ask a question that could trigger a musical number.

2- Joe and Adam were talking like sailors, and Matthew finally started spraying Lysol in their faces after each vulgarity.

3- We were talking about testicular cancer, and Matthew was saying how it's important to do regular checks. He asked if we did regular checks, and Joe replied. "No, but I've had a broomstick up my ass before".

4- We were all talking, and Joe was sitting there, nonchalantly sucking on a crucifix... and after a few minutes, he paused, and said "I'm going to Hell." with his mouth still full of the cross, and continued to perform his obscene act.

5- Joe trying to play the Diva's Opera from The Fifth Element on some random Irish Pennywhistle he pulled from nowhere was very amusing. (I swear to God, one moment he was totally unarmed, then next he just had this FLUTE in his hands, like we were in some big weird cartoon)

6- Rape screams

Obviously, Joe is over again today. We've kinda "nonofficially" exchanged gifts. He's looking at his now, but he can't have it yet, and he told us what he's getting both of us- I'm getting the DVD of Interview with a Vampire (which I've never seen, unbelievably), and Matt is getting the first volume of Evangalion. I got Joe the Parasite Eve movie, and Matt got him Cruel Intentions on DVD.

Anyway, I just had to update about all this craziness in my household right now. John simply HAS to experience an evening with the Dark Circle sometime.

P.S. Aisheteru
 
     

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I'd have to agree   
06:45pm 17/12/2002
 




what decade does your personality live in?


quiz brought to you by lady interference, ltd

 
     

(Ante Up!)

 
   
06:27pm 17/12/2002
 
mood: cynical
Tucker, could you possibly STOP being a puppy for just a little while? Argh.

I got a msyterious package today. I think it's from Anthony. It had three clocks in it, like the ones I saw at Nell Hill's, but no name or note with the package. It was sent from Missouri, though, so it's probably His Highness. I have to send his package tomorrow, and I sent my cards today.

Then I have to wrap presents. I can't wait to give Josh his. Speaking of Josh, I'm feeling rather uneasy right now, although I think even mentioning it might not be a good thing. It's funny how I talk less and less about what I actually feel in my journal anymore, because now most of the key people in my life have this clearcut view into my mind, and I'm not comfortable with that. But anyway, I'm feeling uneasy, and I'm not even sure why. While he is afraid of making a wrong move, I'm always feeling like I've already made a wrong move, and even if I couldn't help it, I'm just NOt getting something and therefor causing some sort of damage. It's not a good situation for the vigilant personality type.

Anyway... no use talking about it.
 
     

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"Back off, Kringle!" >:(   
01:53am 17/12/2002
 
mood: apathetic
It's usually following a good day that a mediocre day occurs.

My workplace is a constant drama, which I detest. And I'm a little worried about Josh right now, but I think it may just be due to my eternal state of paranoia.

it's very cold in here, and I'm shaking... I hope I don't have too many typos. Oh, I got a Christmas card from hamartiaSarah today- Thank you! It was very nice! Yours should be arriving in a few days. Matt got his, too.

I have Christmas Eve off- I have mixed opinions on that. Although it will be nice to be home, it will also NOT be nice. As much as I hate my job, ANYTHING is better than Christmas Eve for me. I abhor it. I think it may stem from a childhood fear of Santa. We never had a chimney, so my parents told me he came through the door. This bugged me for two reasons-

A) Did they routinely just NOT lock the door at night?
B) And if not, who IS this Santa freak, and why can he just abolish locks and come and go as he pleases? If he can, who else can? The Easter Bunny? Burglars and Serial Killers? Catra?

Lots of things to fear, especially with MY overactive imagination. I was an AWFUL kid when it came to that. Every other second, I was afraid of vampires, or aliens, or ghouls, or evil spirits- I think that has a lot to do with my current pool of interests.

But aside from that, Christmas Eve is stressful, busy, longwinded, and my mother always manages to stave off her PMS until THAT EXACT DAY every December. So if given the choice between staying home and going to the salt mines... I'd have to go with a strong yes/no.

Joe is pretty sick today. He's vomiting up everything he eats, only he doesn't want to- a change for him. He's usually all about explosive bodily functions.

In minor news, The Two Towers comes out on Wednesday, I believe. So just as the "Let's make every male in MiddleEarth a hobbit-fancying queen" fad has started to weaken, here comes more Elijah Wood and Orlando Bloom to reinvigorate the hormones of teen geeks everywhere.
 
     

(2 chip(s) in the pile | Ante Up!)

 
   
12:16am 16/12/2002
 
mood: amused
Well, that was a pleasant day! I'm looking forward to New Year's Eve now, although I'm suspecting I WON'T end up having all these howler monkeys I live with in another location... a minor point, however.

Today was Adam's birthday. He lived til 17... I owe Matt 5 bucks, I suppose.

I now have such a HUGE arsenal of games for the upcoming holiday season- now I have to find time to play them! Gah, work is for losers! Matt and I are in top form tonight. We've been cutting sharp remarks left and right! Bladder control has almost become an issue! Oh, and Anthony, if ever you need a Minister of Sarcasm for your empire... give me a ring!

And since I'm in such a chipper mood, I've decided to go ahead and post my Xmas list-

1- The power to revolutionize the world, through rebirth or destruction (this one is VERY IMPORTANT, folks)
2- Gambling paraphrenilia
3- Scarves
4- The Valkyrie Profile OST
5- Star Ocean: The Second Story OST
6- Revolutionary Girl Utena: The Black Rose Blooms
7- Karekano Volume 1 Manga and Rev. Girl Utena Volume 3 Manga
8- Machievelli's The Prince


That's all really. It's been a good day. Thanks to a certain someone and an evil oracle of a brother.
 
     

(8 chip(s) in the pile | Ante Up!)

 
   
12:13pm 15/12/2002
 
mood: calm
Well, I now have my own copies of Chrono Cross and Star Ocean 2, for which I am happy. I've never fully played Chrono Cross, I just borrowed Anthony's, and I "borrowed" Joe's Star Ocean 2 (thank God for his short attention span), but I wanted my own copies of both. And now I have them, for a little over 20 bucks. Yay.

I also have all my Xmas shopping done, which is nice. I sent out one package and my cards, and I have to send one more package. After my the party at work, I'll be done!

Today I'm going over to Josh's around 3 or 3:30. Not sure which. Until then, I think I'll just play some CC, because I'm lazy. I want to make Mojo into a lethal avatar of pain and despair, so that requires level building!

I'm so sick of babysitting the puppy- it figures, we'd have to get a NORMAL dog. I'm tired of cleaning up poop, and following the annoying little bundle of joy around while he destroys everything he possibly can. I absolutely despise dogs- and people who act like dogs. Cats I can handle, in moderation. I think plants are the way to go with me. A little light, a little water, that's all. None of this attention bullshit. Maybe Emily is right. Maybe I am just an insensitive tempermental jerk. With that in mind, I'll be off.

[Edit: Oh poo. Beth is coming today. I do NOT want to deal with this now. I may be leaving for Josh's a little sooner than planned.]
 
     

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10:40pm 13/12/2002
  Well, I've got all my Xmas cards done, and feeling otherwise discontent.

The PS2 is dead now, and that's disheartening, because I need a new one. Shit. I felt like making a journal entry, but now that I've logged on and browsed a bit, I've lost the desire to talk. Yeah, I know I'm awful and unattentive. I know I can't keep promises...
 
     

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Gambling is such a misued term... I prefer to call it "financial improvosation"   
09:42pm 11/12/2002
 
mood: bitchy
I've been having a very bad day... there was bad freezing rain early this morning, so I didn't want to drive to work... surprisingly, I'm not all keen about killing myself, although after today I think my views on that topic have changed a little.

So yeah, I was going to call off work- but alas, my luck rating did forsake me. I couldn't call off in time, so I had to go to work. My mother offered to drive me (she's a much better driver), but regardless of that, my plans for the entire day had been thus screwed by said development. See, today I was supposed to visist Josh and pick up WA for Matt- but NO. No such luck.

I should have taken it as an omen when my seatbelt attempted to kill me during the commute (at which point I ripped it off, screaming "To Hell with this, if I die, I die!"- hence the change in my POV on suicide). I get to work, and it's DEAD. We had very few customers for the first few hours... it was so bad that my boss decided to send people home- BUT NOT ME, OH NO. See, I had to wait for a RIDE because of the fuggin' ICE. And I'm all the while feeling bad for technically blowing Josh and Matt off. So I stayed, and after all but two people left (although one woman threw a fit about having her shift cut short, and then got mad at ME because I got to stay, oh lucky me), we were bombarded by idiots. Customers as far as the eye could see, all of them stupid, unwashed, and devoid of frontal teeth.

So yeah... it sucked. And then it got slow again, and so my boss sent everyone but me. Which pissed off the OTHER person who was working, who consequently called my house to bitch about it. So after a ridiculously long day of circulating dead-busy patterns, my ride arrives, and all I want to do is get home, change clothes, and call Josh and apologize profusely. And maybe curl into a fetal position, if my aching lower back allows it.

2 and half hours after my ride showed up, I get home, because I had to run around with them and do errands. I'm not a patient person, and due to my BPD, cycles of extreme overstimulation and understimulation (i.e. getting really busy, then sitting around on my ass for an hour, then getting overly busy, then waiting in the car for 2 hours, and so on) do all sorts of bad things to me... so I was less than pleasant.

I got home, called Josh, who apparently was expecting me, and didn't give up on my visit until 5 pm, so now I have to feel bad about that. And the one thing I wanted to do tonight when I logged on was bask the splendour of DOOM, but lo and behold- only ONE person is even remotely interested (by the way, thanks to hamartiaSarah for actually reading DOOM).

All I want for Christmas is for each and every one of you to die a slow and painful death, thus pulling the plug out of the gene pool, and leaving this miserable rock a cold, desolate lump of frostbitten fecal matter. (and no, you wacky Buddhist wannabes, when I say I want you to die, I don't mean that in a benevolent way!)
 
     

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12:50am 11/12/2002
 
mood: accomplished
May I present the December issue of DOOM Magazine!

All new in this issue! 3 new staff members, new columns, bizarre news and gossip, and reviews for Golden Sun, Yawara the Fashionable Judo Girl, and Something Positive! Come on, read it, you know you want to!
 
     

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My views on Ragnarok Online and the Sims   
04:54pm 10/12/2002
 
mood: amused
SalientSoreThumb:
SalientSoreThumb: http://oekaki.gd-kun.net/pics/294.png
Title: "INCLUDING SARCASTIC JOKE"
My comment: http://enweb.ragnarok.co.kr/r_regu.htm

Whew. Which side of Korea was this game in, again?
Partita Nicklaus: I've never played ragnarok online before
SalientSoreThumb: Eh. <=D The rules speak for themselves.
Partita Nicklaus: I see
Partita Nicklaus: somewhat strict
Partita Nicklaus: *rolls his eyes*
Partita Nicklaus: you can get booted for speaking your mind at a GM
Partita Nicklaus: what bullshit
SalientSoreThumb: Stinky, eh? o_o
Partita Nicklaus: yeah
Partita Nicklaus: someone's obviously on a power trip
SalientSoreThumb: Don't talk smack 'bout gravity! They'll put the KGB on you!
Partita Nicklaus: lol
Partita Nicklaus: Castro made his own online RPG!
SalientSoreThumb: LOL!!
Partita Nicklaus: CUBA ONLINE!
SalientSoreThumb: LOL!!!!
SalientSoreThumb: .. *high five!* XD
Partita Nicklaus: so basically, what CAN you do?
Partita Nicklaus: walk to and fro and eat rainbow sherbet?
Partita Nicklaus: because those seem to be the only things the rules don't ban
SalientSoreThumb: I dunno. Get lost in a forest like I did, and not be able to kill anything with your pathetic steps, and .. LOL. Sherbert. XD.. walk around in place, until you finally find yourself out of hte FUCKING HUGE FOREST
SalientSoreThumb: pathetic *weapons*, rathe.r
Partita Nicklaus: god
Partita Nicklaus: Hello, welcome to Ragnarok online
Partita Nicklaus: do not swear, or you are gone
Partita Nicklaus: do not cheat, or you are gone
Partita Nicklaus: do not think secret things to yourself, or you are gone
Partita Nicklaus: do not listen to the music we do not like, online or off
Partita Nicklaus: or we'll find you
Partita Nicklaus: do not speak ill of ragnarok online to your friends
SalientSoreThumb: (^O^ Do not be thinking to yourself of the secret things)
Partita Nicklaus: or we will find you, and your family
SalientSoreThumb: (The way I had done the game was that I just did the 'okay, you've passed part of the test by coming out here, so i"ll save your guy here.. but the thing was, I couldn't beat any of the monsters I passed by. ^^;;; )
SalientSoreThumb: LOL.
Partita Nicklaus: do not doubt us
SalientSoreThumb: Family. XD
Partita Nicklaus: remember, ragnarok is watching!
Partita Nicklaus: have a pleasant stay! (or else you are banned!)
SalientSoreThumb: Lol!
Partita Nicklaus: it could be worse, though
Partita Nicklaus: it could be sims online
Partita Nicklaus: "look, it's the Sims! It's ALMOST like a simulation!"
SalientSoreThumb: LOL
SalientSoreThumb: *falls face onto desk!*
Partita Nicklaus: "no, weren't not a glorified chatroom, oh no!"
Partita Nicklaus: "we're a REAL game!"
Partita Nicklaus: fuck that
SalientSoreThumb: Heh. ^_^ .. it's quite succesful. <=o <=|
Partita Nicklaus: I suppose
Partita Nicklaus: I guess I never really got into it
Partita Nicklaus: the Sims, that is
SalientSoreThumb: *nods* I know. o_o
SalientSoreThumb: I dunno. IT's like.. something that the Sims sold sold the most out of something. ^^:;
SalientSoreThumb: All the sims packs == largest set of computer games ever bought? I dunno. O-o
Partita Nicklaus: I KNOW
Partita Nicklaus: how many ridiculous expansion packs are there?
SalientSoreThumb: Hm. I'd gues.. 5?
Partita Nicklaus: and all they do is add one or two real features to that actual game
Partita Nicklaus: like "Buy new Sims: Feeling Bloated!- With this new expansion pack, all the Sims in your neighborhood can get gassy whenever you want them too!"
SalientSoreThumb: LOL.
SalientSoreThumb: How the fuck are you so funny? XD
Partita Nicklaus: three weeks later, it's like "Buy new Sims: Stinking Rich! for another measly 30 bucks, you can watch your Sims bitch and complain about not having the rest of the expansion packs!"
Partita Nicklaus: I dunno, I guess I'm just observant
SalientSoreThumb: .. *chokes* XD
SalientSoreThumb: YOU HAVE GOT TO POST THIS.
SalientSoreThumb: Somewhere. =D
Partita Nicklaus: its like, I have enough problems with my own bitching and whining
Partita Nicklaus: I don't need 35 little pixellated clones of myself whimpering about having to piss or not getting to eat to amuse myself
Partita Nicklaus: lol
Partita Nicklaus: brb
SalientSoreThumb: LOL. XD
Partita Nicklaus: it's very cold in my house!
Partita Nicklaus: and I need to figureout when to send my Xmas cards
SalientSoreThumb: It's very hot in an oven!
Partita Nicklaus: I'm waiting for some fat german children to come over and push me in it!">http://oekaki.gd-kun.net/pics/294.png</a>
Title: "INCLUDING SARCASTIC JOKE"
My comment: http://enweb.ragnarok.co.kr/r_regu.htm

Whew. Which side of Korea was this game in, again?
Partita Nicklaus: I've never played ragnarok online before
SalientSoreThumb: Eh. <=D The rules speak for themselves.
Partita Nicklaus: I see
Partita Nicklaus: somewhat strict
Partita Nicklaus: *rolls his eyes*
Partita Nicklaus: you can get booted for speaking your mind at a GM
Partita Nicklaus: what bullshit
SalientSoreThumb: Stinky, eh? o_o
Partita Nicklaus: yeah
Partita Nicklaus: someone's obviously on a power trip
SalientSoreThumb: Don't talk smack 'bout gravity! They'll put the KGB on you!
Partita Nicklaus: lol
Partita Nicklaus: Castro made his own online RPG!
SalientSoreThumb: LOL!!
Partita Nicklaus: CUBA ONLINE!
SalientSoreThumb: LOL!!!!
SalientSoreThumb: .. *high five!* XD
Partita Nicklaus: so basically, what CAN you do?
Partita Nicklaus: walk to and fro and eat rainbow sherbet?
Partita Nicklaus: because those seem to be the only things the rules don't ban
SalientSoreThumb: I dunno. Get lost in a forest like I did, and not be able to kill anything with your pathetic steps, and .. LOL. Sherbert. XD.. walk around in place, until you finally find yourself out of hte FUCKING HUGE FOREST
SalientSoreThumb: pathetic *weapons*, rathe.r
Partita Nicklaus: god
Partita Nicklaus: Hello, welcome to Ragnarok online
Partita Nicklaus: do not swear, or you are gone
Partita Nicklaus: do not cheat, or you are gone
Partita Nicklaus: do not think secret things to yourself, or you are gone
Partita Nicklaus: do not listen to the music we do not like, online or off
Partita Nicklaus: or we'll find you
Partita Nicklaus: do not speak ill of ragnarok online to your friends
SalientSoreThumb: (^O^ Do not be thinking to yourself of the secret things)
Partita Nicklaus: or we will find you, and your family
SalientSoreThumb: (The way I had done the game was that I just did the 'okay, you've passed part of the test by coming out here, so i"ll save your guy here.. but the thing was, I couldn't beat any of the monsters I passed by. ^^;;; )
SalientSoreThumb: LOL.
Partita Nicklaus: do not doubt us
SalientSoreThumb: Family. XD
Partita Nicklaus: remember, ragnarok is watching!
Partita Nicklaus: have a pleasant stay! (or else you are banned!)
SalientSoreThumb: Lol!
Partita Nicklaus: it could be worse, though
Partita Nicklaus: it could be sims online
Partita Nicklaus: "look, it's the Sims! It's ALMOST like a simulation!"
SalientSoreThumb: LOL
SalientSoreThumb: *falls face onto desk!*
Partita Nicklaus: "no, weren't not a glorified chatroom, oh no!"
Partita Nicklaus: "we're a REAL game!"
Partita Nicklaus: fuck that
SalientSoreThumb: Heh. ^_^ .. it's quite succesful. <=o <=|
Partita Nicklaus: I suppose
Partita Nicklaus: I guess I never really got into it
Partita Nicklaus: the Sims, that is
SalientSoreThumb: *nods* I know. o_o
SalientSoreThumb: I dunno. IT's like.. something that the Sims sold sold the most out of something. ^^:;
SalientSoreThumb: All the sims packs == largest set of computer games ever bought? I dunno. O-o
Partita Nicklaus: I KNOW
Partita Nicklaus: how many ridiculous expansion packs are there?
SalientSoreThumb: Hm. I'd gues.. 5?
Partita Nicklaus: and all they do is add one or two real features to that actual game
Partita Nicklaus: like "Buy new Sims: Feeling Bloated!- With this new expansion pack, all the Sims in your neighborhood can get gassy whenever you want them too!"
SalientSoreThumb: LOL.
SalientSoreThumb: How the fuck are you so funny? XD
Partita Nicklaus: three weeks later, it's like "Buy new Sims: Stinking Rich! for another measly 30 bucks, you can watch your Sims bitch and complain about not having the rest of the expansion packs!"
Partita Nicklaus: I dunno, I guess I'm just observant
SalientSoreThumb: .. *chokes* XD
SalientSoreThumb: YOU HAVE GOT TO POST THIS.
SalientSoreThumb: Somewhere. =D
Partita Nicklaus: its like, I have enough problems with my own bitching and whining
Partita Nicklaus: I don't need 35 little pixellated clones of myself whimpering about having to piss or not getting to eat to amuse myself
Partita Nicklaus: lol
Partita Nicklaus: brb
SalientSoreThumb: LOL. XD
Partita Nicklaus: it's very cold in my house!
Partita Nicklaus: and I need to figureout when to send my Xmas cards
SalientSoreThumb: It's very hot in an oven!
Partita Nicklaus: I'm waiting for some fat german children to come over and push me in it!
 
     

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